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Rick Dean's avatar

I’m having a meta moment where I’m thinking about how I’ve just read these wonderful insights instead of arriving at them on my own! Not feeling any guilt about it, just noticing.

This is reminding me of a time when I was exposed to the idea of enjoying learning as an activity in itself, separate from the knowledge gained through it. I previously thought that when people said they “like learning” that they enjoy the accumulated knowledge they gain from learning. But I think it’s also possible to simply enjoy the process of learning itself as a joyful experience. Sort of like the way someone could enjoy the process of playing piano even if they’re not producing masterworks. This feels related to what you’re talking about, but I also feel a thread of distraction in it - sometimes I think we read not just to fast-track our own thinking and learning, but to deliberately avoid facing some of our own thoughts and feelings. Like many things in life, the activity itself isn’t necessarily helpful or hurtful, but the intention we bring to it will largely determine the outcome.

In the spirit of your more “in-process” writing for this piece this comment isn’t really a final conclusion on anything, just sharing what came up for me when reading this piece. Thanks for sharing!

Mirabelle Kirkland's avatar

Oh, am I excited to be in conversation with you!

Sometimes, I catch myself sitting with an open book on my lap, gaze lost in space, having such thoughts! As if the mere presence of certain authors via paper and ink whips up my mental circulation.

I love your experience with reading slowly. I wonder if I'll be able to really give myself permission to do that. There is so much I am curious about... and I must admit, so much that I feel I need to research before I can dare to write about it myself.

I have started reading voraciously not that long ago. Sometimes I feel desperate about how much I forget... and then I realize that my reading has been sowing seeds, underground and invisible, that intertwine with each other and make crazy thought hybrids. I have been nurturing the belief that this happens precisely because the learning lands in the deeper subconscious fields rather than the withering light of consciousness.

But maybe I'm just looking for excuses to justify my addiction to that thrill when a writer opens up the doors to whole new landscapes of thought for me.

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